I know I’m not perfect. But I really hate how I am constantly being reminded of that. I just wanna be me. I don’t have a nice body or a really pretty face. But I deserve respect too. I just want to forget the past and be happy. But there’s always people like you that brings me down. I just wished people weren’t always so judge mental.
im reblogging this after such a long time, because he was my first love. He was my first everything. The first person i fell truly in love with, the first person i shared my darkest secrets with, the first person i felt the first heart break with. The firsit person i would swap the whole world for. Even though we lived thousands of miles away, he was my first true love. We have 10 hours difference, he lives in Australia and i live in portugal, yet we spend the whole day talking to each other no matter how tired or upset we were, we made an effort to make each other happy. I remember waking up to his cute messages like ’ good morning my beautiful princess’, he was so perfect and he still is in some ways. We loved each other like nothing else existed in our worlds, we lived for each other, we woke up just to talk to each other, we were so in love, madly deeply in love. It might sound stupid because i’ve never seen this guy in real life, i fell in love on the internet but some random guy that i raped his photos on facebook. ahahha it’s weird right? but i loved him, theres a part of me that will always love me and i know if he ever came back i would never say no to him. I wouldn’t even think twice of going back to him. Damn this boy made me so happy, just like a belieber when she finally meets justin? yeah i was happier than that. Everything he did for me.. the way he tried to prove to me i was his one and only, the voice notes, the wallposts, the cute long paragraphs, the inboxes, him , his face, his voice, his everything, damn he’s so perfect, i could write a dictionary just saying good stuff about this guy.
And what hurts the most is.. that I let him go, I ruined our perfect relationship, i ruined him, i ruined myself, i ruined everything around us. I ruined all the beautiful stuff that happened to us. I didn’t trust him, i believed other stuff that people told me about him.. But even after we broke up.. i fought for him like there was no tomorrow, but he let me go, he didn’t fight for me.. he wanted to forget me. It hurt so badly. and i guess it will always hurt me. Everytime someone talks about him, my heart breaks into little pieces. i was so in love with this guy that lives so far away from me yet hes so close to my heart. Damn I miss you so much, i fucking need you so much, i need you to make me happy again. I need to feel you right here by me telling you’ll always be here, telling me you’ll never let me go. I’ll never love someone as much as i loved you, never have and never will.
It’s been nearly a year since we broke up and im still here, crying. I fucking loved you, i fucking fell in love with you. But now? everythings gone.
I know you still think about me and i know you still love me, but as they say ” some people are meant to fall in love but not to be together.”
but damn, i won’t ever forget you. I won’t ever move on, as they say, Your first love is forever, you never stop loving them, even if you start dating someone else. you’ll never love other people as much as you loved that person.
The day i finish school, is the day i fly to australia to meet you. I promise you that, thats a fucking promise Daniel.
May 20th 2012.
please don’t forget me.